Success - a new SIM card did the trick. Worked as soon as I updated it in my profile. Still weird though that the SIM died right after the number port, maybe a coincidence, maybe not.
@maaji, did everything work with a new sim? is it going to screw up my plan? I'm getting the same error after porting the number over, "Sim Failure", "Invalid Sim". Everything worked perfectly for a couple days before I ported the number. The port ...